In today’s over thought, ridiculous world of food there’s one thing that gets easily passed over, and that’s ice cream. It’s even taboo for some people. These people are the poor victims of the sleeziest, most misleading dregs of society-I’m talking, of course, about personal fitness trainers. Ice cream is almost the perfect food, it has both carbs and protein, but depending on what flavor you get it can be a little high in sugar. You might think vanilla was the first ice cream flavor invented, but it wasn’t. In the 4th century B.C., Nero sent some soldiers into the mountains to get some snow to make a frozen dessert that was flavored with nuts & honey with a fruit topping. Gross.
Here in good old 2019, we’re a bit more civilized. I think there’s been every food put in ice cream that could be put in ice cream. Cookies, candy, donuts, you name it and it’s probably been an ice cream flavor. There are some staples, that you can always find. Vanilla, cookies & cream, chocolate, strawberry, the list goes one. Anyone who’s ever been to a grocery store knows there’s about 20 feet of different flavors. Different areas of the country have different flavors.
I come from Wisconsin, and 2 staples there are Maple Nut and Blue Moon. I now live in the Chicagoland area, where you can’t really find either one of those flavors. Wait! I take it back, there’s one grocery store here that sells Blue Moon now, I want to say they started carrying it like 6 months ago. This only strengthens my case on why people shouldn’t live here.
The store/ice cream parlor where you get ice cream is also important. If you’ve ever been to a Thrifty drug store and gotten an ice cream cone, you know what I’m talking about. And if you had that experience, consider yourself lucky, you’re one the chosen few. The other “magical place” is Dairy Queen. As a kid, you begged your parents to take you there, as an adult you’ve probably had your kids beg you to take them there. Not to get into the whole soft serve/ hard-packed debate, but I wonder if soft-serve can come in a flavor besides chocolate or vanilla?
You can’t tell me nobody has asked for strawberry soft-serve. Weird.
Her Take:
Ice Cream is an area where we solidly agree. In fact, if this blog had to draw one, fully united line in the sand it would be that Ice Cream is basically the perfect food.
Yes. non-dairy eaters, I hear you. I don't understand you, but I hear you. Find a non-dairy ice cream alternative (**shudder**) and pipe down, the rest of us are having a moment.
If you've ever taken a family of 5 out for ice cream, you understand how everyone being able to pick their flavor and have exactly what they want changes instantly improves your family dynamic. Yes, you can TECHNICALLY take your family out just for other kinds of desserts I suppose.. I've never DONE that, but I guess you could just go out for pie or something... the point is, you don't. You go for ice cream and, if you're lucky, it's just the right temperature that it feels good to sit in the sun. (In Wisconsin we have exactly 4 days like that in June. All of them are Tuesdays.) You cram everyone into a uniquely uncomfortable little concrete table and are just there together, eating ice cream. Those are good times.
And that leads us to a vital rule of ice cream that we observe in our family. (When you're in charge of a family, you get to make big pronouncements and say things are 'rules' when really, it's just something you made up. It's awesome.)
Let's call this 'Ron's Rule', ok?
Ron is my dad and he is absolutely chock-full of useful life rules. Some of his other greatest hits include 'If you're not at leat 15 minutes early, you're late' and 'tell them to kiss your ass'.
But we're focused on ice cream here and this is my interpretation of his rule:
If you're on vacation, you stop for ice cream whenever you feel like it.*
* 'Vacation' can also be defined as when you're just taking a drive on your day off. A.K.A. 'bumming around'.
In my life, I have invoked this rule at least monthly for the last 20 years and it never fails to make things immeasurably better. The pinnacle of my experience with 'Ron's Rule' is when I lay it down in the presence of The Man himself. Now, listen, he thinks a lot of things I do are silly - he's right - but I know he recognizes the divine wisdom in 'Ron's Rule' even though he says he just could go for some ice cream right then.
Ron is the adultiest-adult I know. He was in the Navy, worked at the paper mill, re-builds classic cars as a hobby... think about that: the thing he does in his SPARE TIME is harder work than some of us do for a JOB.. he's basically the blueprint for the quintessential, no-nonsense midwestern male. But hand him an ice cream cone and he's right there, trying to lick the drips before they fall, being a seven year old kid again.
For my money, there isn't a better ice cream experience than ice cream with Ron.
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