Birthday Expectations Vs. Realities

Her Take:
I need to start by telling you that I’m not spoiled. 

This is important for two reasons: 

#1 I know that there are people that exist that think I am. 

#2 It seems exactly like something someone who’s at least a little spoiled says. 

There you have it, that’s sorted out. 

Knowing that this is coming from someone who is definitely not now, nor has ever been, spoiled, you’re more prone to believe me when I tell you that not enough fuss is made about my birthday. 

I KNOW that sounds like something a spoiled person says, ok? But you have to believe me that there’s a threshold that all birthdays should be meeting and mine is, saldy, well below par. 

It’s not to say that I think my birthday (which is August 9th, by the way,  if you want to send a gift.. Something tasteful, but not ostentatious please) should be better than yours. Not at ALL. In fact, a lot of us are just generally not giving ourselves the kinds of birthdays we deserve. 

Think about it: 

Every year that goes by is another year that we survived, right? You didn’t wander off while you were on vacation and fall off a cliff because you were live streaming for your vlog. That field trip to the fancy lab with radioactive spiders and the inattentive tour guide only resulted in super powers (maybe). And you definitely didn’t fall asleep in bed with a lit cigarette and then try to put out the resulting fire with gasoline (probably). Your survival rate is fully 100%. Buddy, we are CRUSHING THIS.

So why when our days of birth come around do we waste them?

We should be sleeping late and wearing crowns and being mobbed by admirers and eating ALL the cake. Am I right or am I right?

Instead, we do laundry and go to work and obsess or jeans that don’t fit and people that don’t like us JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY. 

It’s dumb. D-U-M-B. We can do better. 

Here’s my proposal, then: This year, let’s have the birthdays we WANT to have. The genius part here is that YOU get to choose the best birthday and then have it. Want to go to work like usual, sit in boring meetings, eat kale salad for lunch, and then sit by the side of a scenic little stream staring wistfully into the middle distance? Do it. That’s not my choice, but it’s a great choice for you. You look AMAZING when you’re posed thoughtfully. Would you rather have a HUGE party with a TON of guests and dance all night? SURE! DO that. (If you invite me just know that I’ll sneak out by about 9:30. No worries, I will have drunk enough.) 

To give you an idea, here’s my plan:

1. Sleep in. I mean, like, AT LEAST 6:30am if you can believe that. 
2. Have someone make me coffee and chocolate chip pancakes. I’ll go to an honest to god restaurant if I have to, it’s that important to me that I don’t have to cook. 
3. Spend the rest of the morning at the lake. I don’t know what I’ll do there, but it’s my birthday, so I’m not in a hurry.
4. Time in the hammock in my yard with a book. This will mostly be a nap. 
5. Dinner with my family. What is it? Lobster? Surf and Turf? Something else that involves sea food that I don’t have to cook myself? WHO CARES!! 
6. CAKE!!! But listen, we have SO MUCH TIME that we’re going to wait, like, an hour so we don’t get that gross-ate-too-much feeling. 
7. Finish it all off with drinks around the fire… and just enjoy that feeling of being drowsy from too much happiness and food and sun.

Man, that sounds great. And it’s TOTALLY achievable. Let’s do this, friend, let’s have the birthdays we want this year!

His Take:
I don’t care if you’re 1 or 100, everybody looks forward to their birthday. Sure, after you reach a certain age, you stop looking forward to the number, but I think everyone still looks forward to the day. When you’re a kid, there’s cake, ice cream, presents, balloons, clowns, ponies, a live band, you name it. It was the one day of the year that everybody stopped what they were doing and focused on you. After awhile, it becomes a little less of a deal, you might go to a dinner or have a few friends over, but it’s nowhere near the big circus that it was when you were young. 

All this leads me to answer this week’s questions: Does the expectation live up to the reality when it comes to birthdays. I’m gonna say yes, it does. Sure, it might not be AS big of a deal as it was when you were 5, but there is still A deal. Every year, I get texts from people wishing me a happy birthday, there’s a family get together and birthday presents (and seriously, I’m one of those guys who doesn’t need anything. I’m super hard to buy for). I don’t get that any other day of the year. 

For the record, I think people who give the “ah, it’s just another day” answer when someone wishes them a happy birthday are complete and total jackasses. Someone’s trying to tell you that they’re thankful that you’re alive and a part of their life, why would you crap on that? They’re the same people that call Valentine’s Day a “Hallmark holiday”, but yet will drink until they vomit on St. Patrick’s Day. You’re on this Earth anyway, why not make it fun? If somebody wants to celebrate your birthday, let them! If the people you work with want to go to the trouble and bring in a cake or a special lunch, let them and try being genuinely thankful for it. If you let yourself have a good time, you might actually have a good time.