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Vince McMahon Breaks the Internet

This week one of us is on their game, the other is not, so we bring you this special edition. 

His Take: 

This is not the article that you were supposed to be reading. That one will follow soon, and it’s about the 30th anniversary of Tim Burton’s groundbreaking 1989 Batman movie, how it affected our culture and still does to this day, the impact it made on the summer “event” movie, and my personal experience with the film and that magical summer of 1989. Yeah, that was the article you were supposed to get, BUT yesterday something happened. A BIG something. You know that overused phrase “broke the internet”? This time it broke. Let me take that back, it actually shattered. Like a glass bottle on the pavement, shattered into thousands of pieces. 

I’m talking, of course, about yesterday's announcement on Sports Illustrated that Vince McMahon has appointed Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff to run WWE’s two flagship shows, Raw and Smackdown Live!. More importantly, this was Vince McMahon saying “I need help”. Even the biggest McMahon haters were absolutely astonished. Let me give you a brief history of the events that lead to this. 


WWE’s ratings have been dipping constantly for years (as have all TV shows), and right now to combat that more and more networks are turning to live sports because it has a sense of urgency, one that can’t be duplicated or replaced by on demand programs or streaming services. That, combined with WWEs lack of creative storytelling it once had and low ticket sales at events, led to this decision. Not to mention that McMahon is getting ready for a full-on relaunch of the XFL, one that has many corporate partners that have to be pleased and catered to. 


But why would McMahon turn to these two guys to handle TV? Both were the heads of wrestling companies that ultimately failed, but both of them failed because of financial reasons, not because of the quality of the product. Heyman is a master storyteller and has a PHD in wrestling promos, something that the WWE has been failing on for sometimes. Matches are just presented for no reason at all, and every single wrestlers promos are written ahead of time. I have a feeling that that will change, and change soon. Heyman is a guy who wants a reason for everything. Why is this guy feuding with this guy? Why does this match need to be a cage match? No randomness, everything has a meaning behind it. Just like all good stories. And when it comes to promos, I have a feeling we’re going to see sink or swim. I believe we’re going to be surprised to see just who can cut great promos and who can’t. 


As for Biscoff, the reason is simple, he’s used to dealing with networks. In fact, he’s a master at it. You see, later this fall Smackdown Live! Is moving to the FOX network on Friday nights. Broadcast networks are a million miles away from cable networks. There’s certain standards that are demanded and a lot of expectations that need to be lived up to. Bischoff knows these and can mold a show up to those ideals. Plus, he created some of the most memorable wrestling events and characters in history. Who else would’ve had the balls to turn Hulk Hogan into a bad guy? I mean, that was like having Superman join the Legion of Doom. And he not only made it work, he almost drove the WWE out of business in the process. 


If there’s any of you out there that might be lapsed wrestling fans, now might be a good time for you to give the shows another try. With the changes being made, I have a feeling wrestling is about to become not only a whole lot better, but it’s also going to be a bit more accessible to everybody.

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